Being a teenager is a difficult challenge. You frequently bounce between childhood and adulthood, being irresponsible and responsible, testing parental authority and then depending on it. Parents often do not know what to expect. Many often find it difficult to understand your growing need for independent action, and even for rebellion.
Some adults view adolescence as a period of friction, change and problems. For you, it’s a time of concern about acne, weight problems, menstruation, late development, early development, sexual arousal, school pressures, girl friends, boy friends, boredom, parental hassles, peer pressures and your future.
It's easy to understand why many find this a difficult time. But once it’s over, you realize that most of your parents’ "irritating" behavior was motivated by feelings of love and concern. Yes, adolescence can be a trying time. But if you and your parents communicate and try to understand each other, this period will be less trying and more fun for everyone.
Below are a few tips to improve the communication you have with your parents:
* Be honest with your feelings. Your parents are a great resource of support and knowledge, but they don’t know what’s going on in your life if you don’t tell them.
* If your parents upset you by setting a curfew or by grounding you, don’t immediately take the defensive side. Make sure you talk to your parents when you’re not emotionally upset. If you start yelling or crying, you won’t be able to express your important feelings.
* Calmly tell your parents what’s on your mind. Avoid “you” statements like, “You don’t give me enough freedom” or “You’re never happy with anything I do.” These types of accusation statements will only cause more friction. Instead use “I” statements such as “When I go out with my friends, your early curfew makes me feel as if you don’t trust me,” or “Sometimes I feel hurt when you don’t give me credit for being responsible.” This method communicates your feelings without blaming your parents.
* Listen to what your parents have to say. If you’re getting a chance to speak what’s on your mind, it’s only fair to give the same opportunity to your parents. If you listen to what they say, you may learn that you’ve been misinterpreting their feelings.
* When you’re talking to your parents, if they say something you disagree with, don’t immediately overreact. Give them a chance to express their feelings and then calmly explain why you may disagree with them. Try to identify what you need from them and tell them (they may not know).
Some adults view adolescence as a period of friction, change and problems. For you, it’s a time of concern about acne, weight problems, menstruation, late development, early development, sexual arousal, school pressures, girl friends, boy friends, boredom, parental hassles, peer pressures and your future.
It's easy to understand why many find this a difficult time. But once it’s over, you realize that most of your parents’ "irritating" behavior was motivated by feelings of love and concern. Yes, adolescence can be a trying time. But if you and your parents communicate and try to understand each other, this period will be less trying and more fun for everyone.
Below are a few tips to improve the communication you have with your parents:
* Be honest with your feelings. Your parents are a great resource of support and knowledge, but they don’t know what’s going on in your life if you don’t tell them.
* If your parents upset you by setting a curfew or by grounding you, don’t immediately take the defensive side. Make sure you talk to your parents when you’re not emotionally upset. If you start yelling or crying, you won’t be able to express your important feelings.
* Calmly tell your parents what’s on your mind. Avoid “you” statements like, “You don’t give me enough freedom” or “You’re never happy with anything I do.” These types of accusation statements will only cause more friction. Instead use “I” statements such as “When I go out with my friends, your early curfew makes me feel as if you don’t trust me,” or “Sometimes I feel hurt when you don’t give me credit for being responsible.” This method communicates your feelings without blaming your parents.
* Listen to what your parents have to say. If you’re getting a chance to speak what’s on your mind, it’s only fair to give the same opportunity to your parents. If you listen to what they say, you may learn that you’ve been misinterpreting their feelings.
* When you’re talking to your parents, if they say something you disagree with, don’t immediately overreact. Give them a chance to express their feelings and then calmly explain why you may disagree with them. Try to identify what you need from them and tell them (they may not know).
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